Hey Readers! This week I am SO excited to welcome special guest, Molly McAllister.
Molly is the creator and coach for Within Coaching LLC. She works with individuals who want to explore their energy, clarify their goals, and move forward with confidence. I’ve had the pleasure of knowing Molly for many years and have always been impressed with her passion and dedication to helping others find the courage and confidence to move forward in making their dreams a reality. In fact, having Molly on this week’s Substack is a dream come true for me!
I hope her words motivate and help all of you to step forward unafraid. If you like this post, please don’t forget to share. Also, check out Molly’s bio at the end of her post to find out how you can get your own complimentary coaching session with Molly!
Enjoy!
Sarah
AKA A Busy Lady
Who’s Stopping You?
By Molly McAllister, CPC
Let’s try something…
Take out a pen and paper and write all the things that are stopping you from accomplishing that thing you want to do. You know, that big goal that you really wish you could devote yourself to achieving.
Go ahead, start writing. We will wait…
My guess is that the list is either one “big” thing or it’s pages long of lots of things. In either case, it likely boils down to the idea that you aren’t enough. And that “not enough” feeling could resonate on any level: not smart enough, strong enough, good enough, motivated enough… you get the picture. Or maybe it’s a “not enough” resources factor. You don’t have enough time, energy, education, money, support… the list goes on and on.
Those fears are real. It is daunting to go after your goals. Daunting (with a capital D). The status quo is so much more comfortable. You know you can handle what you’ve got because you’re doing it.
And it’s likely that when you think of that big goal, it is coupled with the focus on why you can’t do it. Those two separate thoughts may even have merged into one without you realizing it. Instead of “Here’s my goal and why it would be amazing,” your brain has turned the thought into, “Here’s why my goal won’t work.” It’s one thought. A dead end. No longer fun to dream about.
But what if…
What if we separated the two thoughts and isolated the one that is telling you that you’re not enough? In coaching, we call that not-enough-guy a “gremlin.” He (though it could use any pronoun) is a force outside of you. Let’s call him Jake.
Jake keeps telling you why your dream won’t work. Why your goal is not achievable. Why you, specifically, can’t do it. Jake is telling you that you’re not enough to handle the task ahead. While we want to hate Jake (because who would want to be friends with that guy?), it turns out Jake’s motives aren’t what we might expect. Jake is trying to protect you from failure. He doesn’t want you to look bad, and he’s worried about you. The only way he knows how to manifest that caring side is to hold you back from trying. If you don’t try, you won’t fail.
But what Jake doesn’t know yet is that you can work successfully toward your goals. You aren’t afraid to fail because it’s how you learn and move forward. You do have the strength, resources, brain power, and time to work confidently toward your dreams, one step at a time. You are, in fact, amazing!
Energy cannot be created or destroyed, so we need to reprogram Jake. We need to persuade him to be the force that pushes you forward instead of the one that holds you back. Let’s sit this gremlin down and have a chat. In your next moment of fear, when you hear your gremlin holding you back, try taking in a deep breath telling your gremlin (whatever his name may be), that you are enough.
It might sound something like this, either in your head or out loud:
“I see you. I hear you. And I thank you. I know you are present because you care. I want you to know that I’ve got this. I can work confidently toward this goal and I’m asking for your help. I want you to encourage me to make progress. I want you to tell me I can do it. I want you to push me to carve out the time I need for focus. I want you to call on my courage. I need you to tell me I am enough.”
When you address your gremlin straight on like this, the impact is powerful. The two of you working together toward your goal become unstoppable. You focus on each of the small steps in front of you until you look back and see just how far you’ve come. You are a force.
Who’s stopping you?
No one.
Molly McAllister is the creator and coach for Within Coaching LLC. She works with individuals who want to explore their energy, clarify their goals, and move forward with confidence. She knows that you have all the answers within you and coaching helps you uncover them. You can find her at www.WithinCoachingLLC.com, on LinkedIn, or you may reach out to her for a complimentary coaching session by emailing her at Molly@WithinCoachingLLC.com.
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