Who's Got Your Back?

Tips For What To Do When No One Supports Your Dreams

Feb 03, 2024

man wearing hoodie standing on snow covered field during daytime — Photo by Mitchel Lensink on Unsplash

Hey Readers!

Maybe it’s the fact there’s been no sunshine in New England for weeks now that’s got me in a mood, or maybe I’m just tired . . . but either way, this week, we’re taking a turn from the usual upbeat Go Get ‘Em posts to talk about this:

What do you do when no one supports your dreams?

One thing I’ve learned as a first-generation college grad that worked her way up from absolute poverty in my late teens, living on my own while trying to go to school and work full time (and while also navigating reoccurring illness and all the stressors poverty brings) is this:

Sometimes, the only one that supports your dream is you.

Have you ever had that feeling? A pent-up energy for a goal, a dream, you just HAVE to accomplish. Whether it be to finish college, write a book, start a business, climb Mt. Everest . . . you get the idea. It’s that thing that keeps your heart pumping, your body excited by the possibility that one day, you will achieve it. You proclaim your dream, are excited, in love with it, and know, just know, that everyone else around you will be excited too.

But then, they’re not.

And your heart sinks.

I’ve been there. Standing, battered, and bruised, on dreams no one believed in. Climbing up from the muddy trenches from a deep pit of a black hole just to stand on top of the ground and proclaim, “I’m here!” to see the next climb ahead . . . and no supporters in sight.

There were times, I had to go it alone.

So, here are my hard-earned tips on how to thrive, even when no one believes in you:

1. It’s Not About You, It’s About Them. That’s right. Often, it’s about their own hang ups. You know, they have something they “shoulda woulda coulda” done and never did, so why should you? Or it might make them look bad. Or you might make their life hard if you do succeed. For example, I once had a boss that asked me why I was going to night school. She said, “You don’t need a degree to do this job.” Of course, I explained that was the point. I wanted MORE than that job. Looking back, she probably just didn’t want to lose me from that position. (Funny side note, three years later she needed a job—guess who hired her? Good thing I got that degree).

The point is, sometimes it’s about envy, sometimes it’s about insecurity, and other times, your success and dreams are just making their life too damn inconvenient at the moment.

2. They Just Don’t Understand. Listen, I get it. You know it’s an awesome idea to invent a time machine or whatever else seemingly impossible thing you want to do. You might even find some people to cheer you on. But there will be people that won’t get it. I’m sure Nikola Tesla, Thomas Edison and the Wright Brothers had plenty of naysayers too. I mean, electric lights? Flying in the sky? Some people have vision, some people don’t. Or they don’t have the same vision as you. That’s okay. You see it and you can do it. Doesn’t matter what they think.

3. They Just Don’t Care. I know this one is hard to take, but it’s true. Don’t take it personal. Not everyone is going to care about your dreams. They have a lack of interest because they are too busy trying to survive their own life. I hate to say it, but some people, whether or not intentioned, are just not paying attention. They’ve either got too much else going on, don’t see the importance of what you are doing, etc. It’s all fine. You don’t need their input, anyway. You only want genuine fans and supporters on your team.

4. Being the First Is Always the Hardest. When you are the first in your family or group of friends to do something, it will always be hard. Why? Because you are paving a new road where one currently doesn’t exist. Even if the people around you support you, they won’t understand you during your journey. How could they? They never did it. It can feel lonely and isolating when you are the only one. It sucks when you even lose friends during this phase. I’ve been down this path before and what I’ve learned is this: find your people. There is likely someone out there that is either on your path or traveled it once that you can reach out to. They will understand. I promise.

5. Believe in Yourself. Even when it feels like no one understands or supports you OR even if they DO support you, but it still feels lonely (doing great things sometimes feels like this) don’t worry. Take a deep breath and remind yourself of your why (see my past post, What’s Your Why? for tips on this) and remember: You can do anything you put your mind to. It might be a slow crawl, there will be challenges and setbacks, but if you have the courage and tenacity to stay on track, you WILL make it.

And when you make it— don’t forget to turn around and reach back to help someone else up off the floor.

Till Next Time,

Sarah

AKA A Busy Lady