The Power of Pause
Feeling Human in a High Paced World
Hey Readers!
I’m so excited you’ve joined me here again. From just a few subscribers, this Substack continues to grow beyond my wildest dreams. Thank you for your support!
This week, I want to talk about the power of pause. It’s a bit of a ramble, so stay with me.
This Busy Lady is feeling burnt out, if I’m being honest. It’s not a complaint, but an admission that the fault is my own. As a mom, lawyer, business owner, writer, etc.—a lot of people depend on me. Being a mom, managing a home, and working as in-house counsel (overseeing several states and a major city) PLUS trying to make time for my passions - writing a novel, prepping another novel for publication, managing a side business, attending classes on writing . . . my days are stock full from the time I wake up to when I collapse into bed.
And I’m not good at taking a break.
The buzzing and the ringing of my phone and computers remind me daily how much I’m needed. Two computers, two phones, three emails. They beep, ring and vibrate all day long. Then there are the Zoom meetings. This week was a slow week, and I still went to ten of them.
I’m incredibly thankful and blessed for all the opportunities I have. I remind myself every day how hard I’ve worked to have these opportunities, but still, I’m tired of feeling plugged in all the time.
Do you ever feel like that? Like a machine? I feel like I’ve been busy since 1998. I worked full time while going to school full time for YEARS. During which time, I also lived a lot of life and raised two children. In law school, I had a friend that told me once they wouldn’t recognize me without a cup of coffee in my hands (thankfully, I’ve ditched that unhealthy habit. . . trust me, coffee at 10 at night followed by a grocery shop at 11, after a day of work, being a mom, and law school night classes isn’t healthy for anyone).
One thing I’ve learned while “balancing” it all is this: there is no balance.
It doesn’t always look pretty. Sometimes my kids need me more than work. Sometimes I must attend to work matters. Sometimes the two don’t play together nicely (like when you’ve got a major deadline and a sick child) and sometimes they do. But mostly, trying to get it all done, perfect, exhausts you. Sometimes done is better. Just get it done. Last week I was drafting an email, and I reminded myself, I’m not shooting for a Pulitzer, here.
We all say we wish we had more time. So many conversations I’ve had with others over the years where we all complained, there’s not enough time!
But what I’ve learned is this:
You don’t need more time; you need extended moments.
I wrote those words down last year during our company “Wellness Day” where I spent thirty minutes sitting in a salt cave where I think I paid more for the silence and luxury of sitting and doing nothing than I did for the salty air being pumped around me. That’s right, I paid money to sit down. I can’t make that up.
This all got me to thinking. . .
Years ago, I worked as a childcare assistant. Each day, after a morning of exploring, reading, playing outside, coloring, painting, gluing pom-poms on colored paper (and of course, cleaning up spilled food (like rice that never seemed to sweep up), puke, assisting 18 children with the potty (and dealing with potty accidents), wiping wet noses and singing three renditions of Twinkle Twinkle) we had NAP TIME. Two glorious hours from 1 to 3 where the lights got shut off, the cots came out, and the classical music came on.
To be fair, we didn’t “not work” for the whole two hours (there were always those kids that didn’t sleep). But for the first thirty minutes, my colleagues and I would settle down next to the kids. We’d rub their backs to help calm them, as soft music played. I’d sit with my back up against some preschool sized shelf full of dolls, books, and puzzles, listen to the music, and watch the particles of dust float in the air from the stream of sunshine that peeped through the blinds.
The quiet time centered me.
Better yet, after about thirty minutes, my colleagues and I would head to the back table where we’d whisper about whatever was on our mind while cutting out paper letters or hearts or four-leaf clovers or whatever theme we were working on with the kids.
Why am I telling you this? Because I realized today that those days were filled with two important things: Pause and Connection.
The thirty-minute pause always gave me a jump start. It revived me. I’d lose myself, my thoughts, into the melodies that played. I’d feel my heart settle, my body give in to the peace. For those glorious thirty minutes there were no noses to wipe, little hands tugging my pant leg saying Ms. Sarah, Ms. Sarah, Ms. Sarah. No Raffi music blasting. Just quiet. Then, after the pause, I went to a table of ladies with no phones, no social media, just conversation.
I miss that. And I also realize there’s no reason I can’t have it now.
AND SO CAN YOU.
I know. I hear you saying, But Sarah, I can’t nap mid day! I hear you. Neither can I. But we are allowed a lunch break. We are allowed to get up from our desks, our computers, put your phones away and . . . breathe.
So today, I challenge you to pause.
Take a half an hour. Go for a walk. Listen to music you enjoy. Look out the window at the trees.
Then, Connect.
Call a friend. Talk about silly things. Remember what it means to be alive.
You will be better for it.
Till Next Time,
Sarah
AKA A Busy Lady
P.S.
Some other stuff I wanted to share:
What I’m Reading: Tom Lake by Ann Patchett. It’s taken me longer than usual to finish this book, but only because the story and language are so gorgeous I don’t want it to end.
What I’m listening to: My music taste is all over the place. Lately when I’m writing, I’ve been obsessed with David Bowie’s Starman. I also dug up an old CD (from those naptimes I wrote about here) called Sounds of Acadia. Check it out on Spotify, it’s perfect for relaxing.
What I’m watching: I’ve actually given up television for the last six weeks as I work on my next book. I do, however, watch movies once a week. The latest Hunger Games was awesome. I also recently rewatched The Truman Show—it’s one of my favorites.
What I’m cooking: I’m making this Mexican Soup this weekend! I’m mostly vegan and love to cook. I get most of my recipes, like this one, here: https://www.forksoverknives.com/recipes/vegan-soups-stews/mexican-lime-soup/
Also, some new content will be coming for subscribers of A Busy Lady soon. These paid options will provide deeper insight into law, writing, and an opportunity for connection, all for the price of a monthly cup of coffee. Of course, my normal blog (like this one) will continue to be free. Stay tuned!
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