Hey Readers!
This week I want to share with you some life-changing tips that can set you free, help you accomplish your goals, and lead to inner peace. What am I referring to? Stopping negative self-talk.
We’ve all experienced an inner critic at one time or another. You know, the one that tries to undermine your self-esteem. Even those of us that seem to have everything together have experienced that wretched inner voice that nags at our perceived failures and shortcomings.
It's not like we go looking for it. It just shows up, relentless at times. Of course, the world doesn’t do us any favors. Movies, television, and magazines invade us with images of people with seemingly perfect homes, physiques, clothes, talents, and hefty bank accounts. Worse, social media is filled with 'ordinary individuals' we might actually know, who paint a picture of perfect lives absent any doubt, failure, or disappointment. It’s enough to make anyone second guess themselves. If you’ve experienced trauma, emotional abuse, or other tragedies, negative self-talk can be particularly hard to overcome.
Why is it so important to kick the inner critic to the curb?
Because words have POWER.
That’s right. Repeat phrases often enough and they will become true. Why? I believe it is because our thoughts shape our actions. You know the old saying, tell yourself you can’t, or you can, both are right.
More than that, negative self-talk can have some very damaging impacts. Research has found that it can increase anxiety, depression, stress and lower your self-esteem. Ultimately, this will lead to greater feelings of helplessness and decreased motivation which will indivertibly lead to feeling stuck, unable to make decisions, and may even deter you from taking risks. (For more information on Negative Self-Talk check out these articles: https://www.realsimple.com/how-to-stop-negative-self-talk-8385831,https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2021/05/06/four-brain-science-habits-to-help-neutralize-negative-self-talk/?sh=5bef5c5c4f3c).
So, what can you do? Here are my top 5 tips on how you can silence the inner critic that is holding you back from being your best self.
1. Thoughts are Not Facts
Thoughts are not facts. That simple. Repeat it after me. Thoughts are NOT facts. It’s normal for a variety of thoughts to pass through your mind. So many things influence us from childhood to adulthood, as multiple messages from our families, friends, media, advertisements, etc. flood our minds and our world. Some of these messages and experiences are positive, some are negative. Point being, without hashing out all the research on brain science here, is that it’s important to remember that thoughts are mental events that pop in our mind, often dependent on our mood. That’s it. Now, thoughts DO have power when we ACT on them. So, when you have a negative thought, recognize it. Call it out for what it is—just a thought. Replace it with a positive one, and act on that. Which brings me to Tip Number 2.
2. Shift Your Perspective
The best way to combat that pesky inner critic is turn the table on it. Every time you have a negative thought, flip the switch. Turn it around to a positive one. For example:
INSTEAD OF THINKING . . .I have never done this before.
THINK: This is an opportunity to learn.
INSTEAD OF THINKING . . . It is too complicated.
THINK: Let’s look at it from a different angle.
INSTEAD OF THINKING . . . It is too hard.
THINK: How can I break this into manageable steps?
INSTEAD OF THINKING . . . They are doing better than me; I am a failure.
THINK: What can I learn about their success? I am proud of how far I have come.
INTEAD OF THINKING . . . I am not where I want to be.
THINK: What steps can I take to accomplish my goals? What is one thing I can do each day to bring me closer?
4. Journal and Meditate
Both journaling and meditating are beneficial in helping navigate challenges and help combat negative self-talk. The best news? There is no right or wrong way to do either. Sure, there are lots of articles, books, classes, etc. on how to practice mindfulness or meditation, how to journal effectively, and that’s all great. But don’t get distracted or tied down to any one way or technique.
Instead, do what works for you. Want to keep a journal? Great. Get a notebook, blank book, file on your computer, wherever you want to keep it. Then, WRITE. Even if you simply jot down one line a day. Something you are grateful for. An achievement or something that brought you joy. Or fill the pages with all your thoughts, worries, ponders, etc. Whatever works for you. If you are worried someone will read it, rip it up when you’re done. Just jot it down, release it. It helps.
The same goes for meditating. Don't get overly obsessed with whether or not you’re doing it right. Just find some quiet time, even five minutes. Close your eyes, take some deep breaths. Listen to relaxing music. Do whatever you need to do to let yourself simply be. You’ll thank yourself later.
5. Step Outside Yourself
When you catch that inner critic's negative self-talking, ask yourself, is this something you would say to someone you care about? No? Then why in the world would you speak to yourself this way? Treat yourself the same way you would your dearest pal. And give yourself some patience. Take a nap. Watch a funny movie. Call a friend or family member. Sometimes, we just need a break or someone to talk to. Remind yourself that it’s okay to step away sometimes.
CONCLUSION
We are all only HUMAN. Experiencing challenges, setbacks, fear, and doubt is all part of life. How we handle those moments when we don’t feel our best is what counts. Don’t let that inner critic dictate to you how you’ll handle it.
While thoughts are not facts, words are powerful. Tell your critic to chill and replace that negative thought with something positive.
Remember, your thoughts transform into your actions, and your actions transform into your life. Only you have the power to tell the critic to be quiet, and only you have the power to decide to move in a more positive direction.
Till next time, stay in a good mindset!
Sarah
AKA “A Busy Lady”
P.S. Have you got any advice on negative self-talk? Don’t forget to share your suggestions below!
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I loved this !! It’s helped me to understand a few things!! Thank you!!!