Back to the Future

The Real Time Travel Lesson: You Can’t Make Others Change

Since the first time I saw Back to the Future, it’s been one of my top favorite movies. What’s not to love about time travel, the 1980s and a Delorean that doubles as a time machine?

But what if I told you that Back to the Future is about more than saving the space-time continuum? That it’s not just about flux capacitors and clock towers? That it’s actually a story about family. About trying to save those we love. That while yes, Marty’s goal is to get “Back to the Future,” it’s actually much deeper than that. Marty’s real quest is to not only save his family, but to change them. Most specifically, his parents.

Let’s break it down.

At the beginning of the story, Marty’s parents are a true frustration for him. His father George is a coward and a pushover. He’s working a dead-end job and is still being bullied by Biff, decades after high school. It’s apparent that he lacks confidence and because of this, he doesn’t stick up for himself or anyone else. This is frustrating and embarrassing to Marty, who craves a strong, confident father.

Marty’s mother, Lorraine, is just as disappointing. She drinks heavily, appears bitter, controlling, and emotionally closed off. Marty is equally frustrated with his mother and the way she handles her life.

Determined to carve out his own path, Marty spends his time playing the electric guitar, hanging out with his girlfriend, Jennifer, and exploring the secrets of the universe with his eccentric and fearless inventor friend, Doc Brown. Doc’s boldness and belief in endless possibilities inspires Marty to imagine a future where he isn’t held back by fear or disappointment, even though that fear runs deep. Marty worries he’ll end up like his parents—trapped in a life of unfulfilled potential and disappointment. You can practically see the worry on his face. What if he’s doomed to repeat his parent’s mistakes?

Photo by Max Böhme on Unsplash

And then . . . the time travel. Soon, Marty finds himself with an opportunity. He sees his parents young and vulnerable, and now, with a chance to make different choices.

Can he rewrite his family’s story?

Why We Can’t Fix People — And What Marty’s Journey Teaches Us About Life

Who hasn’t wanted to fix someone, at least once in our lives?

One of the most powerful lessons in Back to the Future is that we can’t force people to change. That’s right. Not even with time travel.

Marty tries to push his parents into becoming different versions of themselves. And while yes, he has a positive impact on them both, ultimately, his parents must make the choice. His father must choose to be brave and stand up to Biff. His mother must choose to believe she’s worthy of something better and take a more active role in her life and happiness. In both instances, the change in his parents must come from within them, because they want it.

Not because Marty does.

And this lesson isn’t just about time travel or fictional characters. It’s about all of us, whether in family, friendships or other relationships. We often want to fix people we love. Help them make better choices. It’s always easier when you are on the outside, looking in. But change only happens when someone is ready and willing to do the hard work themselves.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

In my writing, especially in All These Threads of Time, Sylvie struggles with this very truth. She tries to rewrite the past, but quickly learns she can’t. Not the way she thought, anyway. She realizes that sometimes, the hardest part isn’t changing others—it’s accepting their flaws and choices, even when they hurt us.

Ultimately, Marty’s journey is similar. He teaches us a vital lesson: that we can’t fix people—we can only support them on their own journey. While we can encourage, inspire, and create opportunities for growth, the choice and effort must come from within that person.

So what can we do?

1. Focus on What You Can Control. Your own actions, choices, and growth. You never know how your actions may inspire others.

2. Set Healthy Boundaries. Loving someone doesn’t mean sacrificing your well-being to “fix” them. Take care of you.

3. Practice Patience and Acceptance. Change takes time, and sometimes, people may never change the way we hope.

4. Offer Support, Not Pressure. Be a cheerleader, not a fixer. People need to do the work themselves because that’s how they grow.

5. Realize It’s Not Your Fault. You can only make your own decisions. You can’t force people to make choices they aren’t ready to make. Love them, be there for them the best you can, but don’t ever blame yourself for someone else’s choices.

Conclusion

This mindset isn’t just a life lesson; it’s a key theme in Back to the Future and in my novel, All These Threads of Time.

Both stories center on heroes that believe if only they could change just one thing about the past, they could fix everything. Marty wants to rewrite his parents’ story to avoid becoming like them. Sylvie wants to go back and undo the trauma that shattered her family. Both are driven by love, fear, and the deep desire to make things right.

But the only thing we can truly control is our own choices. What you choose to be and how you will move forward in life are up to you.

And speaking of moving forward, in Back to the Future’s sequel, it’s Marty himself—now grown—who needs help to navigate his own complicated future (proving no one, not even Marty, has it all figured out).

But that’s a story for another time…

XOXO

Sarah Crowne

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