Are You Surviving or Thriving?
Small Steps to Your Best Life
Hey Readers!
This week I want to talk about surviving vs. thriving.
Have you ever felt like no matter what you do, you just can’t get ahead? Like you’re working so hard for a dream, but you never seem to get there? Or maybe you’re just tired, burnt out. Crushed under responsibilities, bills, demanding jobs, or other time suckers that have you thinking, this can’t possibly be all there is to life!
Sometimes, we find ourselves just surviving.
When I was first starting out, I lived in a tiny trailer that had a hole in the bathroom floor. I used to stare at that hole and the grass beneath it, judging my worth. I was 19, working full time for a nonprofit, helping families in situations not that far removed from my own. I was also a full-time college student simultaneously battling various health crises, broken-down cars, and heat that went out in the middle of the coldest deep winter nights. Even my kitchen cabinets were falling apart. I remember one day being late for work. I was hustling about the kitchen when a cabinet door came right off its hinges as I opened it. Then, I pulled a chair out from the kitchen table, and the top of it broke right off in my hands! What a frustrating day that was! The point is, when you are broke, everything is a challenge. Having food, shelter, transportation—it sucked up most of my life.
You don’t need to be living in poverty either to know what I mean. Everyday life can sometimes feel like just surviving if we aren’t careful on how we choose to spend our days. Even with wealth and power, a good job, your survival needs of shelter, food, etc. met—you can find yourself living an existence that consists of work, more work, other responsibilities, and then—collapsed in front of Netflix. Or—insert your version of what that looks like.
So, what does it mean to thrive?
Thriving is when we show up for deepest selves, building our ideal life, one choice at a time.
It’s really that simple. And that complicated too.
In fact, showing up for ourselves can be one of the hardest things we ever do.
Why? So many reasons. Traumas and dysfunctional families, for one, can impact the way we see the world, ourselves, and each other. It’s a challenge to learn how to break free from chains that once tied us to seeing new ways of behaving and living.
Finances, lack of support, too many responsibilities, health or other challenges also weigh down our hearts, minds, and bodies.
Even when we are giving everything we have, there is that time I call “the pause.” The pauses before our triumphs are always the most difficult. The pauses test our faith, our will to go forward. It’s when everything seems to fall apart and we wonder, will there ever be an end to this current situation? Will I ever make it?
A wise person once told me: for every Good Friday, there is an Easter Sunday. I never forgot that. I loved the saying so much, I put it in my most recent yet and soon to be published novel, All These Threads of Time.
In fact, check out the following excerpt where I used this idea. In this excerpt, the hero, Sylvie, a fifteen-year-old girl living in 1987, has discovered that not only is her sister’s killer a time traveler, but so is she. As she gains strength in her time travel ability, she grapples not only with its responsibility, but if she can ever find a space in time where things are “right” again. Can she save her sister? Should she?
“The more Sylvie thought about it, the more she realized how evil swelled in every aspect of life. Unfortunate accidents, illness, death, poverty. Sylvie couldn’t possibly stop it all. What effect would that have on the world? On time?
Overwhelmed, Sylvie sat up and wiped the tears from her eyes as she fixated on the dash between June’s birthday and death date. She couldn’t help but think about all the chances between those dates to change things, to bring June back.
Could she do it? Should she do it? How?
Sylvie looked over at Nonna’s pink marble grave a short distance away. She remembered Nonna’s old saying once more — “For every Good Friday there’s an Easter Sunday.” Sylvie wished for Sunday. The pause in between was too much to bear.”
The pause in between was too much to bear.
That’s how it feels when we’re stuck, surviving, not thriving.
So, what can you do?
1. Set Clear Goals. Take some time alone to really visualize the kind of life you want. What do your days look like? How do you spend your time? Write down your values and then consider what in your life is or is not working.
2. Take Small Steps. More than likely, you won’t be able to change everything you want overnight. But you can take small steps. Write down the little things you can do now to get where you want to go. Do you have a passion you want to pursue or a clear goal you need to achieve? Break it down into smaller steps and then start with just one task. For example, if you want to learn a new skill, start by researching people or organizations that teach that skill. Then, once you have a list, reach out to one each day. Continue on like this until you reach your end goal, step by step. Small steps add up over time. Soon, you’ll look back and won’t believe how far you’ve come!
3. Plan for your future self. This works for goals, passions and even financially. Do something today your future self will thank you for. For example, look for financial strategies to start building wealth (even if you are living paycheck to paycheck—look for small ways you can start saving today for your future, even if it’s just learning about your options). Set yourself up for success.
4. Learn to say no. I know it’s hard, but you can do it. Say no to the things that aren’t going to fill your cup. Only say yes to the things that will build your experience, character and passions. Remember-other people will plan your life away if you let them.
5. Remember, now is only temporary. Whatever situation you are in, it’s not forever. The key is to make choices each day that either help your current well-being, prepare you for your future, or provide you with growth opportunities. There will always be things we have to do, but the more you develop yourself and know how you want to live your life, the more you will slowly build the life you want. And, the more you take care of you, the better able you will be to help others.
No matter what your circumstances, taking small steps will lead you to where you need to be and who you are meant to become. Take charge. If you don’t fight for yourself, no one else will.
I hope these thoughts have inspired you to think about what your best life looks like. Got questions or anything you’d like me to delve into deeper on this topic? Message me at Sarah Crowne with your thoughts! I’m always happy to help.
Till Next Time,
Sarah
AKA A Busy Lady
P.S. Stay tuned for next week’s Author Spotlight featuring author and screenwriter, Luke Wisniewski. Check out his recent novella here for a sneak peek. https://www.amazon.com/Gods-Unwanted-Children-Luke-Wisniewski/dp/B0CGL1LSNJ as well as on Goodreads here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/123052565-god-s-unwanted-children
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Great article!
I loved this piece